In retrospect, my kids had it easy.
They attended a reasonably challenging public school in a suburb outside of Philadelphia. Racially and ethnically diverse, the school championed innovative education and equity-based policies. Dedicated and kind teachers were the norm.
But like many parents raising a gifted child, my children’s learning needs were often ignored.
And I say “learning needs” rather than achievement or abilities. Because it was not about accomplishments or awards or any of the other false assumptions presumed to lurk underneath a parent’s motivations and concerns.
First, a quick overview of giftedness
Cognitive giftedness is usually identified through an individualized IQ test administered by a psychologist or neuropsychologist. Typically, someone with an IQ of 130 or higher, which is statistically more than two standard deviations above the mean score of 100, is considered gifted. However, additional criteria have been proposed, including exceptional creativity, motivation, task commitment, environmental influences that can enhance or hamper capabilities, and asynchronous development, where social/emotional maturity often lags behind intellectual capacity.
Despite these expanded views of giftedness, many children still remain unidentified because they don’t “look gifted” to the adults in charge.
Gifted under-identification is especially common among students who are English Language Learners, persons of color, or reside in impoverished neighborhoods, creating what researchers Jonathan Plucker and Scott Peters labeled an “excellence gap.” Essentially, those most in need of enrichment remain underserved.
Gifted under-identification also occurs when gifted children underachieve or mask their giftedness to fit in socially or when they have a twice-exceptional condition (such as ADHD or a learning disability) that obscures their strengths.
Giftedness amplifies social and emotional intensity, and can be tied to heightened sensitivity and reactivity to stress. Gifted kids may struggle with anxiety or perfectionistic tendencies and often feel like perpetual outliers.
Given these multiple social, emotional, and intellectual components, it’s not surprising that giftedness is a woefully misunderstood concept.
Even when gifted students are identified, most schools lack the financial resources or administrative initiative to provide a challenging education. Some view gifted education as a privileged, elitist construct, rather than a means of addressing learning differences. And when giftedness is acknowledged, many schools expect their already overburdened teachers to provide differentiated instruction to a classroom full of students with widely different academic needs (which is an almost impossible task).
Well-researched strategies, such as subject or grade acceleration or ability grouping are often ignored, with the unfair educational burden placed upon classroom teachers. But even the most well-intentioned and caring teachers have little time to focus on the 1–5% of students who are gifted.
What parents want
Most parents of gifted kids just want their child to thrive, or at least not despair, especially when rote assignments and endless boredom fill their days. They want to collaborate with their child’s teachers. They want to trust the school to support their child’s learning needs… and not merely assume said child “will do just fine,” regardless of their education.
As I wrote in my book, The Gifted Parenting Journey, research indicates that parents of gifted children are acutely attuned to the school’s deficiencies. And in my psychotherapy and consulting practice, I frequently hear their stories of frustration and despair. Desperate to support their child’s needs, and panicked about their child’s boredom and disillusionment, many are nevertheless quite hesitant to advocate and evoke perceptions that they are one of “those” hovering, pushy, over-involved parents.
When schools get it right
But sometimes, schools take an expansive look at how gifted students are taught. They ignore the naysayers and offer an innovative opportunity that challenges boredom and inertia. My kids weathered some rough patches in school. But there were shining moments of innovation, kindness, and clarity.
Here’s one example that worked… at least while it lasted.
The middle school quietly offered a sixth grade English/Language Arts class open to only advanced or gifted students. While there were two ELA sections — basic and accelerated — this class was even more challenging… a double accelerated option rarely offered at the school. More like a college seminar than a structured class, the students read challenging and complex novels, debated each other like junior attorneys, and explored concepts in depth. The kids loved the class, the teacher loved their enthusiasm and engagement, and parents were grateful for this rare opportunity.
And not only was it a cost-effective option, it provided students with a reprieve from the pressure to fit in with middle school culture. They could relax, express their enthusiasm for learning, and not worry that their “nerdiness” would leave them exposed and targeted for bullying.
But this class was a well-kept secret, coined the “super secret, double accelerated English class,” by us wary and weary parents who realized the class offering was on borrowed time. All too soon, administrators, school board members, and vocal parents within the community caught on, lobbing complaints that an advanced class was elitist. It was abolished after only a few years in existence; pressure to assimilate children into heterogeneous classroom structures drove the decision.
The appearance of cognitive equity was viewed as more important than these students’ actual cognitive differences, whose learning needs were sacrificed to appease angry stakeholders with little understanding of giftedness. Every child has different strengths and challenges; assuming that a one-size-fits-all class is sufficient is a disservice to students and teachers alike.
Advances in gifted education arrive in waves
Many families and teachers ride the wave, relishing those rare opportunities for enrichment and when a gem of a class is offered. My sons had some great teachers, as well as many amazing opportunities, including advanced math and Latin classes at several universities. But many of their most enriching opportunities occurred outside of school, such as participation in city-wide music ensembles and challenging chess tournaments.
What gifted students need
The basics of a challenging and meaningful education for gifted students haven’t changed much since my kids were in school, and include:
Subject and/or grade acceleration, along with dual enrollment opportunities at colleges
Ability grouping or at least clustering gifted students together within classrooms
Universal pre-screening to identify those students who “don’t look gifted” or have twice-exceptional conditions. It is essential that all gifted children’s educational needs are supported, regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, gender, or socioeconomic background.
Educating teachers and the wider school community about the learning differences found among gifted children
A willingness to utilize funding to support faculty education and provide much needed services for these children (Unfortunately, the Jacob K. Javits grant, which provides federal funding is on the chopping block in Congress and targeted for elimination for the 2026 fiscal year.)
Like any child with unique learning needs or deficits, gifted children wither if deprived of an adequate education. Gifted education doesn’t have to be perfect. But a consistent attempt to offer students a challenging, engaging education should be the baseline consideration.
More information about gifted education can be found at the following sites:
National Association for Gifted Children
Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted
An overview of research on gifted education is also available in my book, The Gifted Parenting Journey.
This article is similar to one recently published on Substack and Medium.
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