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| Image: Pexels/Tiro Miroschnechenko |
Logic, reason, introspection…. oh my!
Thinking deeply is a joy, especially for gifted folks who ponder the complexities of just about anything. They love to problem-solve, find creative solutions, deconstruct ideas, let their imaginations soar, and debate and disagree.
But deep introspection can go awry when it morphs into overthinking — an obsessive drive to mull over ideas or problems.
Neither a psychiatric diagnosis nor a behavior, overthinking is an anxiety-driven thought process. It might be enlisted initially to reduce anxiety, but this strategy typically backfires and fuels even more worry and uncertainty.
Overthinking creates a negative feedback loop, driven by the assumption that if I only think long enough, I will find the solution! And cognitively gifted people may be prone to overthinking, given their tendency to employ logic, critical thinking, and creative strategies.
The solution never comes, though, because overthinking minds will find yet another perspective or pathway or glitch that pokes holes in a seemingly good idea. Confidence dwindles. Anxiety increases. And the vicious cycle continues once again.
What causes overthinking?
Recognizing what fuels overthinking is the first step toward dismantling its grip. (Suggestions for managing the impact of overthinking are included in each section and also listed below.)
Here are some common elements of overthinking:
1. Taking charge at all costs
Overthinking can stem from a need for control. Some overthinkers are high achievers who demand excellence from themselves and others. They seem to have all the answers, master every detail, and grab the reins on any project. They take pride in their competence and barely come up for air as they race to keep up with the latest information and theories.
When self-worth rests on accomplishments or a fleeting sense of control, overthinkers are primed for disappointment. Learning to instead view failure as a springboard for future growth is essential. It can help to consistently challenge unrealistic expectations, experiment with making “planned mistakes,” and take steps to let go of past regrets or worries about the future.
2. Perfectionism
Perfectionism (or an unhealthy drive for excellence) is like control-driven overthinking on steroids.
Overthinkers who strive for perfection often pursue seemingly fool-proof plans to ensure that their desired outcomes come to fruition. But entrenched perfectionistic expectations merely stoke the flames of anxiety and disappointment.
Underlying perfectionistic overthinking is a deep-seated fear that presumed flaws will be exposed. This fuels additional perfectionism, repeated checking. and obsessing about what might go wrong. If they miscalculate and their goals elude them, they berate themselves for both the outcome and their failure to devise a perfect plan.
Perfectionism differs from a healthy drive to achieve. Researcher Patrick Gaudreau proposed the concept of “excellencism” to describe striving for excellence without the demanding perfectionistic ideals that typically detract from self-worth.
Perfectionistic overthinkers often benefit from teachers and mentors who are willing to challenge their unrealistic expectations and help them accept their imperfections. If perfectionism becomes overwhelming, counseling with a licensed mental health professional may be necessary.
3. Endless worry
When worry persists, it burrows deep into your psyche and overtakes all sense of reason or confidence. At this point, overthinking can morph into “rumination,” defined as “prolonged, and recurrent negative thinking about one’s self, emotions, personal concerns, and life experiences,” according to Harvard Medical School researchers Alice Flaherty and colleagues.
Persistent rumination fuels negative feelings like depression or anxiety which, in turn, lead to further ruminative thinking enlisted to alleviate those very unpleasant emotions.
It’s an endless cycle that just won’t quit.
Rumination is reinforced by the belief that rethinking the past or predicting future mishaps will eradicate the problem. This goes well beyond overthinking’s healthy counterparts of introspection, curiosity, and self-awareness. Overthinkers rework every potential glitch in their plans and torture themselves with “what-ifs” and worst-case-scenarios.
A tendency toward rumination may stem from a genetic/biological predisposition, a response to trauma, or just a very active mind. But ruminative thinking can lead to anxiety disorders, according to Flaherty and colleagues, and can contribute to the onset of depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, and even suicidal thoughts.
Finding alternative strategies or limiting “thinking time” are a few options, but sometimes, psychotherapy or medication are necessary to quell ruminative thoughts.
4. Distracted by too many choices
Some gifted overthinkers may become overwhelmed by choices. They freeze on multiple-choice tests when presented with too many options. They second-guess their answers. They obsess over choosing an essay topic when their mind swirls with so many possibilities. Rather than appreciate their ability to generate multiple ideas or analyze information from different perspectives, they feel anxious and overwhelmed instead.
With a mind that races from one fascinating idea to the next, gifted people can be distracted by their own imagination and creativity. It is easy to ignore the tedious task at hand when your mind conjures up thoughts that are so much more entertaining. In fact, some gifted children are misdiagnosed as having ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder) because of their high energy level and difficulty focusing on a task.
Too many options can feel overwhelming when choosing a college major or career path. Multiple abilities, often described as multipotentiality, may seem like an asset, but can contribute to the burden of narrowing down career options. Attempts to juggle competing interests and tackling more than one pursuit or career goal may be overwhelming. Any eventual selection that eliminates other options can evoke anxiety and existential angst over the road not taken.
The busy minds and multiple interests of some gifted overthinkers can create an organizational bottleneck Their greatest challenge is learning to pace themselves, slow down, and develop executive functioning and mindfulness skills to focus on one task at a time. Regardless of how well they think they can multi-task, a distracted focus takes its toll. Learning to pay closer attention to one interest, task, and person at a time is essential.
5. Hijacked by shame
For some gifted people, shame is the culprit behind overthinking and drives negative, ruminative thinking. What if they discover I’m not really that smart? What if I don’t succeed? Maybe I don’t really belong in this advanced class.
Shame gathers steam when gifted children are chastised for “showing off.” Or shamed for correcting a teacher. Or teased about the occasional low test score. Or when they realize that other children think they are weird.
Early experiences with shame may become internalized and last into adulthood, affecting self-esteem, skewing perceptions about achievement, and solidifying unhealthy coping strategies. Shame fuels obsessing and overthinking, which in turn, drives even more shame-based fears. Many feel they are not entitled to relish their accomplishments and even the activities they enjoy.
Overcoming shame-based overthinking requires support and reassurance, finding a niche of like-minded peers, and sometimes, counseling to address low self-esteem and negative thoughts and feelings.
Taming this particular beast
Overthinking can become a stubbornly entrenched pattern that creates the illusion of safe harbor.
It reassures the overthinker, who assumes that by acquiring just enough knowledge, and reviewing every possible option, the right solution will emerge.
Like gamblers — who who have lost their fortunes, but still assume that next time they’ll get lucky — overthinkers dismiss their misery and stick to the belief that obsessive thinking and planning will provide relief if they just think longer and harder.
What eludes them, though, is the realization that mistakes happen, that they will survive (and even learn from) disappointment, and overthinking makes things worse.
A mindful perspective is an essential first step, as described in psychiatrist Mark Epstein’s aptly titled book, Thoughts Without a Thinker. More than a meditation technique, mindfulness fosters a mindful state; it is an approach to remaining attuned to the present moment and accepting thoughts as something to be observed rather than obeyed. Learning to view thoughts (and worries) with curiosity can block the emotional spike that often precedes anxiety and overthinking.
While psychotherapy with a licensed mental health professional can address some of the causes of overthinking (including trauma experiences or patterns of reactivity that stem from childhood) and provide guidance and support to circumvent overthinking, healthy forms of self-reflection (that you can do on your own) can also help to challenge negative thoughts and expectations.
When overthinking strikes, it may be helpful to ask yourself or your child the following questions for self-reflection:
What is the worst that could happen… and what is the likelihood that the worst will happen?
Where is the data? If I were a scientist, what facts would support or dispel my beliefs?
Will this matter five years from now?
Is this consistent with what is important to me and to my values?
How can I focus on what is happening right now in this moment, rather than on the past or what might occur in the future?
What other coping strategies can I use?
How can I gather strength and learn from my disappointments?
