Friday, April 1, 2016

Power in numbers: How gifted advocacy parent groups can help you and your kids

(or how I went from perplexed parent to empowered advocate)

As a Psychologist, I should have known least that's what I thought. I should have noticed the signs of giftedness sooner, knew how and when to intervene at school, and advocated effortlessly for my child.

But of course, it wasn't that easy.

Both of my kids - energetic, rambunctious boys - were not the quiet, composed early readers and meticulous students who "looked gifted." Their talents eventually emerged, but even advocating for testing was a challenge. And then a series of questions unfolded: when to request services, whether to intervene, what battles to pick, when to let things go. My children's needs were juxtaposed against the genuine constraints their well-meaning teachers faced: a classroom full of students presenting a wide range of needs, and district policy obstructing much in the way of gifted services.

This additional parental responsibility - advocating for a gifted child - was unexpected, isolating and unnerving. There was no roadmap, no clear path, and certainly not a lot of support from the school.

Then I stumbled upon a parent group that was starting. An affiliate of PAGE, Pennsylvania's state-based gifted advocacy organization, this local group formed to address problems within the district. Frustrated parents, discouraged after years of witnessing the schools' watered-down gifted programming, shared stories, concerns, and eventually, strategic plans for change.

The group offered support, information, validation, and shared energy, with the overriding goal of improving gifted services. We initially tackled existing policy and widespread inconsistencies in identification and service delivery across schools within the district. Through surveys, focus groups and workshops, we sought input from other district parents, school personnel, and experts in the field. Persistent, yet respectful of the district's fiscal constraints and the realistic demands facing teachers in the classroom, we gained access to gifted supervisors and administration, and were able to leverage some change in gifted education policy and procedures. We also offered workshops and guidance for other parents in the district.

What are the benefits of gifted advocacy parent groups?

  • Support - Parents receive the support, validation, understanding, and camaraderie they rarely find elsewhere. It is a relief to speak freely, without feeling pressured to downplay your child's abilities, or worry that your comments sound like bragging. These are people who get it about overexcitabilities, asynchronous development, others' misconceptions, and roadblocks in their child's education. 

  • Information - The more you communicate, the more you learn. Participation in a parent group provides a wealth of information - about what is going on in the schools, outside resources, how other parents are managing difficult situations, state and national trends, and even what teachers your child should avoid.

  • Creative flow of ideas - Great minds might sometimes think alike... but they also brainstorm well together. Group members from different backgrounds can provide a unique and innovative perspective. A collaborative, creative gathering of individuals will generate more ideas than one person in isolation. And those ideas may then serve as a springboard for planning, strategy and goal-setting.

  • Added authority when advocating - It's no picnic advocating alone. You may not be taken seriously; your message may be ignored. But when an advocacy group presents a cohesive set of ideas and plans, officials in charge are often more willing to take notice and listen. There is truly power in numbers.

  • Education of other parents - Once you learn more about gifted children, gifted education, and gifted services within your community, you can offer guidance to other families. This not only includes parents of currently identified gifted students and those embarking on the identification process, but also parents whose children are not gifted and hold misinformed and negative stereotypes. With your knowledge, you become an ambassador for gifted information, helping others understand how giftedness affects all areas of these children's lives.

  • Influence within the school system - Parent advocacy groups can have a surprisingly powerful influence on policy and service delivery - as long as administration is open to it. Gifted services are frequently underfunded and supervisors often fight for every inch. Parents can convey information to gifted supervisors about problems and behind-the-scenes interactions in the schools. They can support gifted supervisors by advocating with administration and school boards. In return, their ideas may be welcomed and included in planning. It's a win-win situation.

As a group psychotherapist (CGP), I was well aware of the power of group participation. But I never anticipated so many positive benefits from my involvement in a parent group. I am proud to have been a member and eventual co-chair of this group. I learned a lot, felt supported and understood, indirectly helped my kids, influenced school policy, and had fun with a great group of people. It also spurred further interest and study into the psychological aspects of giftedness, informing my work as a Psychologist.

Every parent of a gifted child can benefit from the support of like-minded parents. Finding them can be a challenge, though. You might advertise through your PTA or other school organizations, seek ideas from friends, contact your state-based advocacy associations (if one is available)*, or ask your child's gifted education teacher for a list of parents. With some effort, you may be able to enlist a group of motivated parents. The stream of creative ideas generated by the intelligent, dedicated parents in our district's gifted parents group, their collaborative spirit and shared goal of achieving improved gifted services, and the group's ability focus on the needs of all gifted children within the district (not just our own) fueled an atmosphere of support, hope and empowerment.

*You can check here for a list of state-based organizations that may offer affiliate connections.

This blog is part of the Hoagie's Gifted Education Page Blog Hop on Groups. To see more blogs, click on the following link:

A portion of this article was republished in the Pennsylvania Association for Gifted Education October, 2017 Newsletter.


  1. "As a Psychologist, I should have known least that's what I thought. I should have noticed the signs of giftedness sooner, knew how and when to intervene at school, and advocated effortlessly for my child." <---I thought the same thing as a teacher. Of all people, as a teacher I should have noticed the signs, and then not felt intimidated when having to advocate for my child with his teachers.

    But, a gifted advocacy group was the lifesaver for me, too--the North Alabama Association for Gifted Children. The advantages you mentioned are very true, but there was one extra advantage for me--friendships for me and my child.

    Thank you for stressing the real benefits of gifted advocacy/support groups. They are critical in so many ways!

    1. Celi, Thanks for sharing your similar experience as a teacher and parent. It's so different when you are in the role as parent. So glad you also found a great, supportive group.

  2. I love your advice and the story of your journey! Thank you for encouraging and inspiring parents. :-)

  3. This was a great read. The rules of the games are changing in California with resources allocated on the local level. It means local parenting groups can make more of a difference.

    1. Thanks, Natalie. Good to hear that you can effect some change locally. Thanks again for your comments.

  4. Hi, Gail. This is so true! I thought, as a school psych, that I would recognize the signs too. I am so thankful for supportive parents. They have helped me so much on this journey. It takes a village!

    1. Thanks, Cait. It is always different as a parent, isn't it? I'm glad you also found a supportive group of parents!

  5. You never really know what it's like to parent a gifted child until you have one. And finding a group whose members can relate to your experiences is so vital to helping your child and maintaining your sanity. Great post!

  6. Joining a parenting group was a lifesaver! One of the overlooked benefits is the advocacy component. Our voices are much louder when we joined together to advocate for our children. Thanks as always for sharing your perspective!

    1. Thanks so much. I agree that advocacy is so much more powerful when combined with others. I'm glad you also found a group that worked for you.

  7. Hello, What happens if you were the child and you face Imposter Syndrome and only recently realized what you're capable of at 26 after a year of peers that saw my potential. I am unsure with how to cope with the new information and years of suffering.