Here is a checklist for some of the tasks ahead:
____1. Set up that IEP meeting as soon as possible.
Once your child is settled into school, revisit their IEP, GIEP, or 504 plan (examples of terms used to denote special services for students who qualify due to a disabiity or gifted cognitive abilities). What worked last year may not work now. Make sure a meeting is in place – even to touch base about how/when/where your child will receive the support they need. Advocacy efforts, unfortunately, fall on you, since many professionals lack sufficient knowledge about giftedness or overlook gifted or twice-exceptional needs. And if you reside in an area without mandates for gfited education or your child attends a private school, set up a meeting with whomever is in charge of education support.
____2. Search for activities outside of school that support and feed your child's intense interests.
Look for activities where they can thrive outside of the bounds of the traditional classroom, hone their skills, and where they might find true peers. Many times, these activities spark their passion and allow them to envision their future selves. Some examples include a film-making class, theatre, gymnastics, chess, or math leagues. Of course, keep within your budget. Many activities are low cost; you just have to search for them.
____3. Consider what evaluations or supports your child needs.
If your child has not received a cognitive or neuropsychological evaluation, approach your school for the next step. If gifted identification is mandated where you live, the school can provide testing. (If not, you will need to search for a private evaluation.) Supports can include any resources that help your child thrive, such as a reading specialist, occupational therapist, licensed mental health professional, or tutor.
____4. Search for extra-curricular activities unrelated to your child's giftedness.
Sometimes stretching themselves to try something new and different (and perhaps difficult) can open your child's eyes to other possibilities. It also builds resilience. When my kids were in elementary school, for example, they were expected to pick one sport and one musical instrument. Activities unrelated to school or their giftedness broaden their horizons and offer new perspectives. Hyperfocus isn't everything!
____5. Start planning for the following year.
School may have just started, but think ahead to what your child might need going forward. Are they transitioning into middle school or high school next year? Do you need to advocate for grade or subject acceleration or more opportunities for ability grouping? Would they beneift from a different school or summer activity where their talents will flourish? Start your search early, as some programs, schools, or specialty camps fill up quickly.
____6. If your child is in high school, start thinking about college
Learning more about college options, financial aid, and the best college fit for your child is essential. Gather information about what will boost your child's options, such as a good score on the PSATs, classes focused on SAT prep, or dual enrollment at a college (see more about college planning here). Identifying a college that can provide support for students with twice-exceptional conditions also may be relevant. Even if the school has a college counselor on site, you still know your child best and need to be involved with the college search.
____7. Encourage opportunities for personal and developmental growth.
Identify areas of growth that will help your child thrive. This might include a goal to work on social skills (encouraging your shy child to attend more social activities), developing improved executive functioning skills, such as planning and time management (skills that many gifted kids never develop when school is too easy), or using their gifts to help others. Incorporate family values, such as generosity and integrity, and encourage them, for example, to shovel snow for an elderly neighbor or volunteer at an animal shelter. Psychologist and author Steven Pfeiffer descibes character strengths that are essentail for enhancing emotional intelligence – something that many gifted children lack. Help them set goals that are just as important as academics.
____8. Pay attention to their social well-being.
Focus on what will support your child best with social and emotional struggles. Even the most well-adjusted, socially-connected child goes through tough times. But gifted and 2e children often have greater difficulty finding a friend who truly gets them. If your child is young, it may fall on you to set up playdates, with an eye toward encouraging time spent with peers who relate well to your child. If they are older, though, you can still offer some guidance. For example, if your child is anxious, they may require some encouragement and even goal-setting to ensure that they attend social events. If your child is highly sensitive, they may benefit from strategies that support them in stressful social situations. Sometimes, working with the school counselor, school psychologist, or a licensed mental health counselor can help.
____9. All A's are not necessarily a sign of success.
Some gifted children breeze through school, but never learn how to endure challenges or develop executive functioning skills. They assume that challenges should be easy and may avoid anything that is difficult. Underachievement can take many forms, and can be masked when your child seems to excel. Working with your child's teacher or gifted supervisor may help. They may benefit from specific tasks that require greater effort or work on developing planning and goal-setting strategies. If your child is perfectionistic, they may benefit from a grade-free option (sometimes available in elementary schools) where they work on a portfolio that showcases their progress rather than a targeted grade.
___ 10. Pay attention to your own health and wellbeing.
Raising a gifted or 2e child is a joy, but also quite demanding. As I mentioned throughout my book about parenting gifted children, the parent's self-awareness and attention to their own needs is essential, along with developing a support network of friends, family, and parents of other gifted kids who can navigate this journey with you. When you feel strong, clear about your parenting role, and supported by others, you are better equipped to offer the support and guidance your child needs.
Wishing you well for the upcoming school year!
Related blog posts and articles
Five tips for communicating with your gifted child's teacher
When your gifted or twice-exceptional child does not fit in: Six tips for parents
What happens when gifted kids coast through school?
Ten college planning tips: What families of gifted children need to know
Are AP classes good (or bad) for gifted students?
How parents' expectations affect their gifted child
Gifted advocacy is an education
For teachers:
First, do no harm: Nine tactics that teachers of gifted students should avoid
Three essential tips for teachers of gifted children
Intelligence denied: When gifted children's abilities are ignored
And, from psychotherapist and author, Paula Prober:
Quick back-to-school guide for teachers of gifted kids
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